First of all: Alhamdulillah... I feel so blessed right now and I thank Allah the Almighty for opening the doors of my rizq.

The beauty of patience.

At first there were a lot of things that I was going to say but I decided against it because I am past hurting anyone's feelings. I have spent the last 14 months trying to cleanse myself and stop my mind from being hurled by backlashes from parties that has no slight significance to myself. Come on, what century is this? More people are converting to Islam, why are you lashing your own people? Open up, give up and stop listening to whispers of shaitan. He's called the Devil for a reason OK. Why follow his footsteps?

Don't you see how those Muslims in Britain are seeking Islamic marriages for the same gender? Nauzubillah. These are small signs of end of days. Let us all pray for each other so that we get to enjoy Jannah and not rot in the agony of hell fire.

And don't even get me started on those who judge looks from aesthetics and not from the inside. Astaghfirullahalazim. We don't know what those other people are up to. What if they pray more times than us in a day? What if they read more pages of the Quran than we do? What if they seek forgiveness from their parents and for their parents to be forgiven in their prayers? Surely Allah sees those people as ones higher in standing than ourselves because all we do is judge and judging is a sin.

I am still normal if you meet me in person. I talk normally, I crack up jokes and I talk about stuff that don't make sense. So what if I make ablution and prostate before Allah? Doesn't make me scary. What it does make me is a person who is scared of death when it comes. I am a person with sin so death is what I fear the most. I am just trying to fit in my time for God so I am better prepared for when I die. I know I will have to pay for all those words I've said about people, all the gossips I've shared with others and all those bad thoughts I've thought about others. All those 14 months I've counted and TRIED not doing all these have come with a prize: I no longer care about the stares and the glares. If it takes that long to be in this state of nonchalance, I guess it'll take me a thousand more years to be pious. Alas, I am trying. I want to be staunch and I want my kids to be close to Allah. InsyAllah. If Allah wills, then He will guide me to the right path.

Right now I can say that Iblis still lingers because I do have bad thoughts and insecurities but that's inevitable. Just how we are strong and counter words and actions from people, that's just how we should be with Iblis. And just how those annoying people will disappear when we ignore them, that's just how we should treat Iblis. Ignore him. Ignore. Just stop it with the insecurities when you want to start something good. Like my boyfriend said, "Perkara baik ani jangan d tangguh2kan." So when the niat is there, accomplish it. Then cherish it by saying your thanks to Allah.

So Alhamdulillah. Since Friday up until today, life have been nothing but good to me. Alhamdulillah.

Friends, if you want to start something that you know will benefit you in the end, do it. Ignore your inner inhibitions that makes you feel that people are going to judge you. People WILL judge you but ignore them.

End of the day, the pahala is yours, not theirs.

Jazakallah syukran.

Sigh. The art of pleasing the body. And oh, im finally taking calcium tablets after breaking my arms 23 years ago. Wow! I am THAT old!!

وَلا تَتَمَنَّوا ما فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ
بِهِ بَعضَكُم عَلىٰ بَعضٍ ۚ لِلرِّجالِ
نَصيبٌ مِمَّا اكتَسَبوا ۖ
وَلِلنِّساءِ نَصيبٌ مِمَّا اكتَسَبنَ
ۚ وَسـَٔلُوا اللَّهَ مِن فَضلِهِ ۗ
إِنَّ اللَّهَ كانَ بِكُلِّ شَيءٍ
عَليمًا

Do not envy the favors which God has granted to some of you. Men and
women will both be rewarded according to their deeds, rather pray to
God for His favors. God knows all things.

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Alhamdulillah, ya Allah, thank you so much for shining your hidayah on
me. People might think that my intentions are astray but only you know
of my truest intentions for you are Almighty and there is no other God
but You.

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وَلَيسَتِ التَّوبَةُ لِلَّذينَ
يَعمَلونَ السَّيِّـٔاتِ حَتّىٰ إِذا
حَضَرَ أَحَدَهُمُ المَوتُ قالَ إِنّى
تُبتُ الـٰٔنَ وَلَا الَّذينَ يَموتونَ
وَهُم كُفّارٌ ۚ أُولٰئِكَ أَعتَدنا
لَهُم عَذابًا أَليمًا

There is no forgiveness for those who commit sin and do not repent
until the last moment of their lives nor for those who die as
unbelievers. For these people We have prepared a painful torment.

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إِنَّمَا التَّوبَةُ عَلَى اللَّهِ
لِلَّذينَ يَعمَلونَ السّوءَ
بِجَهٰلَةٍ ثُمَّ يَتوبونَ مِن قَريبٍ
فَأُولٰئِكَ يَتوبُ اللَّهُ عَلَيهِم ۗ
وَكانَ اللَّهُ عَليمًا حَكيمًا

God will only accept the repentance of those who commit evil in
ignorance, if they repent immediately. God is All-knowing and All-wise

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يٰأَيُّهَا الَّذينَ ءامَنُوا اصبِروا
وَصابِروا وَرابِطوا وَاتَّقُوا
اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُم تُفلِحونَ

Believers, have patience, help each other with patience, establish
good relations with one another, and have fear of God so that you may
have everlasting happiness.

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لا تَحسَبَنَّ الَّذينَ يَفرَحونَ بِما
أَتَوا وَيُحِبّونَ أَن يُحمَدوا بِما
لَم يَفعَلوا فَلا تَحسَبَنَّهُم
بِمَفازَةٍ مِنَ العَذابِ ۖ وَلَهُم
عَذابٌ أَليمٌ

Do not think that those who are happy with their possessions and
positions and those who love to be praised for what they themselves
have not done can ever be saved from torment. For them there will be a
painful punishment.

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هُم دَرَجٰتٌ عِندَ اللَّهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ
بَصيرٌ بِما يَعمَلونَ

People are of various grades in the sight of God. God is Well-Aware of
all that they do.

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كَيفَ يَهدِى اللَّهُ قَومًا كَفَروا
بَعدَ إيمٰنِهِم وَشَهِدوا أَنَّ
الرَّسولَ حَقٌّ وَجاءَهُمُ
البَيِّنٰتُ ۚ وَاللَّهُ لا يَهدِى
القَومَ الظّٰلِمينَ

Why would God guide a people who disbelieves after having had faith,
who have found the Messenger to be truthful, and who have received
authoritative evidence? God does not guide the unjust

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Kept forgetting to blog about this. I've just finished reading this about a week ago. Well, if a book is good, I say it's good. If it isn't then it isn't but this book speaks for itself through it's title. It is MAHHHVELOOUS dahling and for serious, if you don't want to read books anymore because you ain't got the time, well just swallow it and grab this one instead. Truly, you'll find time :)

It's about a family far from perfect. With a little mark-up of very very dark humour.

And whilst reading I couldn't help wondering why Mo wanted to have that affair with the boy 30 years younger than she is - and you will find later in the pages that this was the X-Man who flirted with her daughter and was bashed by her husband and he had to go back to New Zealand. Poor Kiwi indeed. No, that was not a spoiler, excuse you me. That was quite a bit of a filler for when you see this in the shops and decide, "Hmm, it looks dodgy." Smack my ass and call me Judy then, you are totally wrong.

Go get it okay!

Yes, that is an order in a fashionly manner.

Toodles!

How lame am I? A few months and finally I uploaded a new picture on my photoblog. Of myself. HAHA! Could I BE anymore uninspired? Man, how I'd love to just be flicking through magazines and webpages like a boss again. Being laptop-less isn't putting this at ease either. I am using my brother's laptop while he's out there working or out with the fiancee. I wish my laptop didn't just die on me. First, the battery stops working; then it keeps on crashing on me while I try opening My Documents; then the mouse stopped functioning properly and finally, the adapter just DIED. Like, kaput, just like that.

Permission to update feeling on the above, please: -_- times that with infinity, beyond and MORE!

Am I better off with an iMac now then? But I was planning to get that once we've moved in to our new house and IF I'm getting that I don't think it's even worth it now to even get a Macbook. Or is it?

If I have all the money in the world I would DEFINITELY just close one eye, get a macbook, then get an iMac once we move to our new place but NO I don't have all the money in the world. I don't even have more than $100 in the bank now. Yes, I spent most of my bond money during the first month and a half of arriving back in Brunei. If only those places I applied to know how desperate I am to be employed right now.

No, no. Better not jinx that first because I firmly believe I told myself and everyone else I'm gonna take it easy this time. But of course I can't sit still. It would be so unlike me if I was to be horizontal and lying down doing nothing. Of course people would think I have been doing nothing because I don't earn any sort of income but people, I am doing something! You just don't know because I haven't been keeping you updated!

So point of this post is that with whatever questions are being asked of me on the status of my employment, my answer is this; No. I am not yet working and I am not even thinking about working yet. I don't really have a specific place where I'd like to be working right now. Because this is me and I like to say to the Universe come what may and I shall cherish everything that lands on my lap. Come on, you know me. I don't have a care in the world and seriously these sort of questions may come with some bit of attitude from me if you keep pestering.

Because I have something else I'm venturing into. Thank you very much! But that is for another time.

And everything else is going perfectly right now. Couldn't ask for more =)

On the other hand, what am i to do with all the clothes and shoes?!

Verse 169 of chapter 2.

البقرة

إِنَّما يَأمُرُكُم بِالسّوءِ
وَالفَحشاءِ وَأَن تَقولوا عَلَى
اللَّهِ ما لا تَعلَمونَ

He tries to make you do evil and shameful things and speak against God
without knowledge.

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Verse 168 of chapter 2.

البقرة

يٰأَيُّهَا النّاسُ كُلوا مِمّا فِى
الأَرضِ حَلٰلًا طَيِّبًا وَلا
تَتَّبِعوا خُطُوٰتِ الشَّيطٰنِ ۚ
إِنَّهُ لَكُم عَدُوٌّ مُبينٌ

People, eat of the good and lawful things on earth. Do not follow the
footsteps of Satan; he is clearly your enemy

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Assalamu Alaikum,

Have you read verse 24 of chapter 31. لقمان in the Holy Quran?

نُمَتِّعُهُم قَليلًا ثُمَّ
نَضطَرُّهُم إِلىٰ عَذابٍ غَليظٍ

English-Sarwar translation
______________________________

We shall allow them to enjoy themselves for a short while, then force
them into severe torment.

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Assalamu Alaikum,

Have you read verse 23 of chapter 31. لقمان in the Holy Quran?

وَمَن كَفَرَ فَلا يَحزُنكَ كُفرُهُ ۚ
إِلَينا مَرجِعُهُم فَنُنَبِّئُهُم
بِما عَمِلوا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَليمٌ
بِذاتِ الصُّدورِ

English-Sarwar translation
______________________________

(Muhammad), do not let the disbelievers grieve you. To Us they will
all return and We shall tell them all about what they have done. God
knows best what is in everyone's hearts

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Assalamu Alaikum,

Have you read verse 18 of chapter 31. لقمان in the Holy Quran?

وَلا تُصَعِّر خَدَّكَ لِلنّاسِ وَلا
تَمشِ فِى الأَرضِ مَرَحًا ۖ إِنَّ
اللَّهَ لا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُختالٍ
فَخورٍ

English-Sarwar translation
______________________________

Do not scornfully turn your face away from people. Do not walk around
puffed-up with pride; God does not love arrogant and boastful people

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Assalamu Alaikum,

Have you read verse 15 of chapter 31. لقمان in the Holy Quran?

وَإِن جٰهَداكَ عَلىٰ أَن تُشرِكَ بى ما
لَيسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلمٌ فَلا تُطِعهُما ۖ
وَصاحِبهُما فِى الدُّنيا مَعروفًا ۖ
وَاتَّبِع سَبيلَ مَن أَنابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ
ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرجِعُكُم
فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِما كُنتُم تَعمَلونَ

English-Sarwar translation
______________________________

If they try to force you to consider things equal to Me, which you
cannot justify, equal to Me, do not obey them. Maintain lawful
relations with them in this world and follow the path of those who
turn in repentance to Me. To Me you will all return and I shall tell
you all that you have done.

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All praises to you, o Creator.

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LOL at how ugly my posts are aligned and returned. Belch-fest galore!

And for serious, spell checks.

Kthnxbi!!

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Well hellllooo!!

I know this blogging via email is addictive and i like that I could
just NOT need to log in to blogger when I have the need to say
something. Ridiculously awesome for the likes of me. Then again I am
unemployed so the world is my oyster!! Every little bit of 'work' is
taken to heart because frankly, my dear, it aint fun just being at
home when everyone else is working!!

Quick update on my sanity: double smiley face.

So dont be surprised with the sudden bombardment of posts. Given that
the connection can be a bit of a bitch, posts may dumb down or come is
small doses but hey, better than nothing right?

Toodles!!

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Need to remind myself that sleeping at 4am, waking up at 11am and snacking on peanuts are not healthy choices. And that was only ONCE I did that because all this while I have been sleeping between 11.30 to midnight. Just because I've an assignment that'll help me get income, I have jeopardised the very need to have beauty sleep. Come on, Nisa, you're not 19 anymore. 25 years old now.

For serious, not fun not being able to open my eyes. Yikes! Worst feeling ever to be on the dance floor feeling like a nincompoop!

Pitam, not for play.

But I did FOUR different samples so that's a good start. Alhamdulillah.

Testing blogging via email. My laptop's dead so this is all i have.
Hope this works!!

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