Wow, this month has been a whirlwind of emotions for me.

I was anxious while waiting for my thesis result.
I was thankful, grateful and happy when I finally got my result.
I was happy when my mom was here.
Then I was sad when she had to leave.
Then I was happy again when my friends arrived. It lasted for 2 weeks.
I also felt sick when they were here but not in a tacky way, I was literally sick. All of us were actually. Two weeks of being together definitely gets you riled up and your immune system haywire.
After two weeks I was sad that they had to go.
Then I was glad that I finally was able to rest in bed and sleep the sickness away. The next day I was recovered and went for Boxing Day.
Sad I didn't shop - only for the essentials.
Tired, resentful and all that jazz that I had to pack my apartment.
Worried about excess baggage but so happy to find out that my limit is actually 30kgs!!!!

And now I'm sitting here with the remains of this apartment, ready for tomorrow, for when the cleaners arrive to attack the marks I've imprinted on the walls, the carpet and the tiles. I'm actually kind of pissed that I have to pay $195 for something that I can do myself but I guess it sure does spare me the tiresome scrubbing and wiping and all that I love. I'm sorry, I'm just THAT obsessive compulsive.

Goodness me, this month is the driest month for me - financial wise. Didn't shop much really, just paid for food and transportation. Explains so much about the belly fat I now have resting on my thighs hahahaha! But you know, all these experiences from this month is well worth the time. I had so much fun this month, actually more than I ever did during this year put together. I know that sounds so sad but what am I to say? This has been the most serious of all years I had to endeavor and I'm not complaining - just looking back at all those times slaving over something which initially I hated to the core of the earth is something that's going to help me build a living for myself. Alhamdulillah. It feels so good to finally be able to wind down and just chill. Not the type to rest and not do anything but you know, not doing work related to anything that's to be written on a piece of paper is good for once. Gosh, come to think of it I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to not studying but I have to get myself ready. I'm ageing man! I need to do what ageing people do! How DO you spell ageing? Aging? Ohhh...

But how do I even start to talk about this month without contemplating too much on the things that create lee-ways? I don't think there ever will be any time when I can finally do that properly because this month has been very eventful for me, and especially social-wise. I guess it pays to be a hermit for a year coz now I'm moving on over-drive! Well, not really. But you know.

Then again there's that feeling of hurt that still can't totally be mended just by myself. I can't say I didn't try. I thought it was going to be different this time around and that things are going to be as they were but who am I kidding right?

I hate that I read into things too deeply sometimes but that's the make of me. I am made to read into things to be able to know what the other person is feeling. This case though, the other person isn't feeling anything at all, just to be at present and not be involved. The worst kind of hurt a person can go through.

Hmm, turns out this month is more than eventful for me. I guess the last bit of feelings I'm going through is good to prepare me for the next phase in my life =) bring it!