What did it matter where you lay once you were dead? In a dirty sump or in a marble tower on top of a high hill? You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that. Oil and water were the same as wind and air to you. You just sleep the big sleep, not caring about the nastiness of how you died or where you fell.

Death is inevitable. Would you agree to that? I just finished reading this book minutes ago and I'm still feeling kind of beat up by the twist in the plot. I should have known from the beginning who the real killer was but Raymond Chandler outsmarted me by a thousand splendid suns (pun intended).

And I have always wondered how it would feel like to stop breathing. Stop existing. Will people still wallow the lost of me or move on with their lives as soon as the sun comes down? I guess my dark days having met with death or the passing of somebody was a few years back when the people that I keep dearly to my heart left without saying goodbye. It's sad thinking about it now but I can't blame death on anyone. In fact, if you know anything about life at all, you might be looking forward to being dead. But human beings are selfish, things are always not enough, we always want more than what we're given. More money, more materialistic needs, more affection. It's always not enough. So the incandescence of life is never enough hence there goes the saying, "Life is short. Enjoy it while you can," and with that people enjoy life too much without a care about the things they do and the words they say.

Have you ever cried thinking about death? Does it scare you, the thought of being buried six feet underground? Does the afterlife rattle your bones and make you want to repent? Are you confident that you're ready to answer questions being asked to you at the end of days?

I don't always think of these because if I do then heck, I wouldn't even begin to think about doing the things that I do and commit to. Life is full of sin and whispers from shaitaan. In fact we listen to the bad voices more than we do the good ones because some of us are so scared of judgements. Well, who am I to say because I'm not perfect but the thought of death does really really scare me. I'm not ready for it because I have not done the things that are demanded of me to do in the 5 pillars of Islam. I think maybe if I turn into somebody who can provide answers to prepare for the afterlife then I'll be ready for death but even then I'll be sad and cry for those of whom I will be leaving. Like I said, death is inevitable but who wants to be dead? I often miss those who have passed and I ponder about the times we have together. Sigh. It really is something that's really hard to talk about, let alone think about.

Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.

The Big Sleep has a number of those hidden meanings relating to death and you really need to get into the plot of this book to really understand the kinds of death Chandler is talking about. There is a character who is a General who is no longer in service yet still powerful even in his wheelchair and holding on to dear life. I think I kind of imagined him as the Grim Reaper from the way he was described. Maybe that's one of those related descriptions that links back to the whole narrative of the book. If I can get this right and backed-up I can safely say there are many times when things end up in somebody being dead in the book. It's a really interesting read and it's something that I wouldn't normally pick up from the book stands. I did though and not regretting it even a bit. It's one of those books that make your brain scatter into many pieces when you read it but in the end can't help but feel smug that you're done and actually understood.

Not me though, I don't understand what deficiency one of the daughters has that makes her not remember killing anyone and it makes her faint and wake up so innocent that you'd think she's a kitten who doesn't even remember she just shot somebody five times at close range. But then again books are meant to provoke you like that.

I'm so happy that I'm back to reading narrative book right now. It's what I like doing since I learned talking. Books, music, films, photography and art. These are the things that make me whole. If that makes me a geek then a geek I am and will be forever :)

Right I better stop and go on to the next one now. Toodles!